'How finding a bunch of flowers saved my life'

Michaela Taylor was moments from jumping in front of a train when she spotted the one thing that made her change her mind.

After two years of battling postnatal depression, three miscarriages and countless suicidal thoughts, she’d had enough. 

An attempted overdose months earlier had failed. So one Friday morning last month, Michaela, 31, told her husband and two children she was going shopping, said goodbye, and walked to the nearby Gathurst train station, near Wigan, Greater Manchester, to end it.

“I had got to a point where it genuinely felt it was the best option – for everybody, not just me,” she said. 

“I wasn’t scared because I’d kind of come to accept what’s going to happen.”

And then - just before a train approached - she saw a bunch of flowers on a bench. 

Curious, Michaela read the accompanying note. It read: ‘Adopt me. Where there is a woman, there is magic. Enjoy your flowers darling, you’ve earned them.’

“I just sat there with them and they held me safe until other people arrived on the platform so that I wasn’t alone, and I was able to reach out for help,” said Michaela. 

“It kind of told me, maybe I do matter and maybe there’s something more for me beyond this.”

The person who had left such an impactful gift?

Florist Sarah McCaig, 32, based in Wigan, had had four bunches of flowers that were set to go to waste later that week. Knowing International Women’s Day was approaching, Sarah decided to leave them at random spots across her local area in the hope they may add positivity to someone’s day. 

She was stunned when Michaela called to tell her just what an impact they’d had.

“At first I was just like, ‘What?’,” said Sarah, who runs Olive Owl Flowers. “In the messages she just kind of emphasised that, ‘You know, you saved my life.’

“How do you process that? I didn’t know what to think. It took me a few days to even tell anyone.”

When she did feel ready to speak, she felt empowered to make this more than just a single act, and considered the possible impact of getting more people engaged in making a difference.

And so she spoke to other florists across the country to leave similar anonymous gifts. 

From those conversations, the #PetalsofPositivity campaign was born.

After just a few weeks, Sarah has managed to get 48 florists across the UK signed up so far, many which feature below.

Loads more have been contacted and hundreds of messages on social media have flooded in from florists and people looking to help distribute the flowers.

The latest data shows the suicide rates in England are 11 people per 100,000.

Although it may seem like such a small thing to do, even one random act of kindness can make a difference to someone’s outlook.

“There are small pieces of joy out there every single day that show that life is truly worth living,” said Annie Belasco at PANDAS Foundation UK, a post-natal depression charity. 

“We are actively trying to change that thought process for women and men that are unwell with their mental health by noticing the good in things.

“Not big materialistic grand gestures, spa weekends that don’t exist, self care which is impossible when you’re up all night and don’t have any support.”

The progressive decline of Michaela’s mental health was not, she says, because of a lack of support. Her husband and wider family helped with the children continuously and enabled her to receive the care from the Mother and Baby Unit and then the Adult Mental Health Ward.

But each time she felt progress was being made, she was thrown straight back into the pressures of everyday life, unable to focus purely on getting herself better because her children had no idea what was going on and she felt pressured into the responsibilities of being ‘mummy’.

On the day Michaela finally decided that there was no other solution to her problems, her inner strength had run out.

She said: “That week leading up to it was really difficult and I’d basically just gotten to the point where I’d lost all resilience. I’d got to the point where I was actively ready to go.”

Annie Belasco at PANDAS was not surprised at all to see the impact of such a small random act of kindness. While many people agree that sometimes it is okay to not be okay, she feels that we should never stand by while someone is not feeling themselves.

Not necessarily through big materialistic grand gestures, or self care when you’ve got all the different pressures of life going on, but through noticing the small things like a change in the weather or a kind word from someone.

Ms Belasco added: “Our campaign at the moment is about, ‘What’s your glimmer?’ 

“We are actively trying to change that thought process for men and women that are unwell with their mental health, by noticing the good in things. 

“Once those feelings of self worth come back, the assertiveness and the confidence comes back as well.”

That is exactly what Sarah is attempting to do through her #PetalsofPositivity campaign.

Even though her involvement in Michaela’s story initially appeared to be a freak coincidence, Sarah has some personal history with mental illness and suicide.

She added: “I’ve got ADHD and I’d have rounds of depression and anxiety fairly often, but if a random person smiled at me it could just turn all my thoughts around.

“I lost my cousin to suicide three years ago and he was a 27-year old student in Manchester. He’d get on multiple trains to confuse his dad where he was going.

“Ever since this happened with me and Michaela, all of my family have said, ‘Imagine if Sam had found those flowers?’

“It might just be that someone’s feeling really down and they might feel they don’t have anyone to talk to. It’s just a simple thing that can solve so much.”

The campaign will encourage floral artists to go slightly out of their way and put their otherwise wasted flowers to good use and potentially save a life in the process.

While most of the florists signed up so far have been located in the north west, Sarah hopes to have 1000 florists on the scheme by the end of the year.

As mental health often continues to go under the radar, the campaign will look to add a little more positivity to people's mental health.

“When I’m struggling, although it’s never to the same degree that it was, I remember that day and it helps,” said Michaela, who went through seven pregnancies for her three children.

“I think back to that day and I think, I’m still here, and I’m supposed to be here.

“I remember how I felt when I found the flowers and I remember that feeling of maybe I do matter and maybe there is more. Sometimes that can be the thing that keeps me well to be honest.

“They made a massive difference and there's no other way to put it.

“She genuinely saved me.”

If you have been affected by any of the issues in this piece find support through the following action lines:

Samaritans: 116 123
Papyrus Prevention of Young Suicide: HOPELINE, 0800 068 4141, is a 24/7 line for children and young people under the age of 35 who are experiencing thoughts of suicide, and for anyone concerned that a young person could be thinking about suicide.

If you require support for postnatal depression then use this link

Follow these links if you would like to get involved in the campaign through pledging as a florist or helping out in other ways.

The campaign's progress can be followed here

Unless stated, image credit is my own.